Thursday, October 27, 2016

There's room for all of us

Gayle is my Jewish older sister (she's too young to be my mother.) All the stereotypes apply here. Amazing cook. Proud of her kids. Heart the size of Texas and sass to match. She is helpful and kind, but she gets on you if getting on you is needed.

One of my favorite Gayle experiences was when Jacob got married. Jacob is an event planner and a great one, but somehow a few details got missed when he got married (that whole "cobbler's kids have no shoes" phenomenon, although it's safe to say that Jacob's kids will never not have great shoes. But anyway.) Stuff like the day before the blessed event when he asked me, "Did we need to hire an organist?" So I wasn't too surprised when it was time to cut the cake and he looked at Gayle and me and just kind of waved his finger like, "Get after it." Gayle and I had both consumed about half a dozen glasses of red wine, but it made us no never mind. We got after it. A few of the guests got pieces of cake the size of a first edition copy of War and Peace, but they all got a piece. And we had a ball while doing it.

Gayle is a self-described "liberal" and frequently shares articles, posts and information that she feels are compelling, like people do. In the wake of the horrific murders in Orlando last weekend, she posted a photo that generated a reply from someone from her past - a reply that didn't agree with the sentiment of her photo. Gayle's reply to him brought tears to my eyes and it went something like, "I remember you as kind ... I consider you a friend ... when it comes to politics, we will need to agree to disagree ... the world is a big place, there is room for both of us and our different beliefs."

Gayle gets it.

Recently, I've been involved in some political discussions with close friends that have escalated to anger so quickly it took my breath away. I have seen comments and posts on social media that stunned me with their tone of anger and hate.

Friends, we live in complicated times. We are witnessing in our history events and moments that are amazingly complex. We are seeking easy answers and solutions to questions and problems that have been generations in the making. We are seeking security and assurance in an environment of mistrust and fear. I don't know what the coming months and years are going to bring, but I do know this: Continuing to drive wedges between each other because we think and feel differently is only going to make it worse.

Here's what we can do. We can listen. We can validate how other people feel. We can be respectful. We can be kind. We can choose not to use language that inspires hate. We can be forgiving. We can be passionate and angry and scared, but we can express that without doing so at the expense of someone who may view things differently. We can elevate the level of debate in this country by modeling the behavior we'd like to see.

As Gayle so wisely says, "Wouldn't the world be boring if we were all the same?"

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