Enough

It's been unseasonably warm here in God's breadbasket. But emails, ad pop-ups and catalogs warning me that "Christmas is nearly here" are starting to outnumber mailings, emails, ad pop-ups and Facebook posts about the election (thank you, sweet baby Jesus).

I jokingly said to Pat, "When should we start talking about what we're going to give to people that they don't need this year?" Then I got sad when I considered how close to the truth my question actually is.

I don't need more earrings, another sweater, perfume or boots. I don't need another coffee mug, candle or set of wine glasses. We're long on artwork, tchotchkes, towels and dishes. We just don't need any more stuff. We have enough.

The concept of "enough" is interesting. Its definition is "as much or as many as required." Not very specific. I found another description that's a little more useful. Enough exists in the space between suffering and excess. Anything between suffering and enough is a need. Anything between enough and excess is a want.

There are a couple of problems with over-simplifying enough. The first is that, like so many things, "enough" is easier for us to judge for other people than it is to figure out for ourselves. The other is the space between need and want can be shifty. We may need things like a connection, certainty, worthiness and belonging. But when we feel like we don't have those things or can't get those things, we shift gears from need to want and fill the void with stuff.

There's a ton of that going on and you don't have to look very hard to find it. Madison Avenue has perfected the art of selling us the idea that we need to buy our way to good enough. To prove it, consider that we're the most in debt adult cohort in US history. If you don't feel like you're buying your way to good enough, it may interest you to know that we're also the most addicted, overweight, anxious and depressed adult cohort in US history.

Enough.

I've caught myself doing this a lot lately. I have tags on never-worn stuff hanging in my closet. I enjoy giving, but I sometimes am motivated by the time and attention my kids give me when I buy them something. I have been scanning store windows and online ads not thinking, "I think so-and-so would really appreciate and cherish this," but, "If I get that, I can cross so-and-so off the list."

Enough.

Pat and I decided that we're going to be heavy on experience this Christmas. My mom has always wanted to see a Packer game at Lambeau Field. This year, I bit the bullet, bought the tickets, and we're going. My brother's family is getting a family membership to the Franklin Institute. Our kids will be able to choose a concert, performance or sporting event. Our neighbors are getting a coupon for babysitting so they can enjoy a night out.

I'm certain this can work for any age, and it's been fun thinking of what people need outside the "stuff" box.

Had enough? Me, too.

Give of yourself this holiday season. It's what you and what those close to you really need.

You're enough.