My immediate thought was, "HEY! I need something like this." Some sort of signal that indicates to the various audiences in my life that I'm not ready ... to answer their question, to tell them what I think about a current issue, to audition for a show again, to do a project at work before I know all the details, to commit to exercising three times a week, to start writing the novel I have been talking about since I was 7, to accept that fact that you're going to college next year.
The thing is, I'm never ready. "Not ready" for me means "not perfect." I like conditions to be optimal. I like to be on my game. I like to be braced for potential surprises. I like having a back-up plan. I like the odds to be in my favor. I like people to like me.
You can probably see where this is going.
What I've learned (and it's been a wide learning curve) is that preparation is a good thing. Preparing for perfection is not. Brushing up your skills or doing research can be helpful. Not ever saying or doing anything because you don't trust yourself isn't. Bracing yourself for disappointment is healthy. Never trying because you fear the ache of failure is destructive.
My friend Laura describes those moments in life where you're scared and excited and exhilarated and want to burst out crying all at the same time as "cliff jumping." I don't think I cliff jump enough. I'm doing really well when I don't measure the vanilla when I'm making cookies. But I've found on the rare occasions where I dip my toe into the water that really interesting things happen when you open yourself up to the idea of being excited and overwhelmed - to being exhilarated and exhausted - to being successful and risking failure.
We can enjoy it when things come together nicely and appreciate perfection on the rare occasions we see it. But I'm going to open myself up to the idea of being more comfortable in the messy places, because that's where growth and opportunity begin.
I'm ready.
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