For Patty Wetterling

Fear is an emotion I thought I understood until the first time I couldn't find my child in a crowded store. That level of panic, helplessness and anguish is a feeling that must be unique to mothers who don't know if their kids are safe - or worse, if they'll ever see them again. Seconds feel like days, the world takes on a haze that nothing can clear and the relief when your child is within sight and arm's reach again is so palpable, the intensity of it requires you to sit down before you pass out.

That's why I can't imagine withstanding that feeling for 27 years. And it's why I sat in shock and despair as a killer confessed to kidnapping, molesting and murdering 11 year-old Jacob Wetterling in October of 1989.

Jacob's family had to endure witnessing the confession and the following press conference. You could feel hearts breaking as details no family or parent should ever have to hear were finally revealed. Tears streamed down my cheeks and my heart went out to all of them. But it was when his mother, Patty Wetterling, took the podium that I had to mentally steel myself.

She graciously thanked those who had supported her family and stayed with the investigation for almost three decades. She thanked the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, for whom she has become both a spokesperson and advocate. 

"Jacob, I'm so sorry," she said. "It's incredibly painful to know his last days, his last hours, his last minutes."

Her son, she added, has "taught us all how to live, how to love, how to be kind. He speaks to the world that he knew, that we believe in."

She asked the media for patience, because she just wasn't ready to talk.

"For us," she said, finally giving into her anguish, "Jacob was alive until we found him."

My God.

I am dumbfounded by her strength and her courage. After 27 years of wondering where her son was, after channeling her grief to help others, and after sitting through testimony that described the worst possible outcome, she had the generosity to comfort others who are grieving with her.

Grace is defined as doing honor or credit to someone by one's presence. Her spoken words were an act of courage and of love.

Tuesday morning, Minnesota Public Radio published Patty Wetterling's Facebook status, which read:

"Everyone wants to know what they can do to help us.
Say a prayer.
Light a candle.
Be with friends.
Play with your children.
Giggle.
Hold hands.
Eat ice cream.
Create joy.
Help your neighbor.
That is what will bring me comfort today."

To honor Jacob's memory and his gracious mother, I will do all these things.

I will continue to whisper prayers for children who are finding their way home. And for their moms who are waiting for them with open arms.