Lessons from the man in the arena

Yesterday our son wrestled in the last Conference tournament of his high school career. The day, like the season, didn’t go as he had hoped. Despite hard work and good intentions, it has been a season of “almosts” – almost takedowns, almost wins, almost pins. Even with his tendency to bounce back from the most severe of disappointments in record time, it’s been hard to watch and even harder to know what to say. My friend Heidi wisely told me that these are the parenting moments we’re not prepared for – that these are things that don’t matter in the big scope of things, but we all want our kids to feel good about themselves in the end.

Yesterday, after an upset in the second round, he had a match against a kid from a neighboring town he has been wrestling since grade school and has never beaten. He has come close. I was certain that he was due and this would be the day. He had an amazing match, but ended up just almost winning – falling 4-3.

But then this happened: He got up and shook hands, hugging the victor after the referee raised his hand in victory. Less than 10 minutes later, the public announcer said the National Anthem would be sung before the final round of wrestling. By my son.

He stood in his sweaty singlet and sang the anthem with his signature passion and enthusiasm. When he finished, the crowd behind me collectively said, “Wow!” I heard one mom say, “I can’t believe it – that’s one of the wrestlers.”

Later, Pat told me that hearing our son sing reminded him of when he was four years old and the doctors were telling us that he had cancer. He said every time he hears him sing, it makes him think of how far he has come.

Indeed, our son has fought many battles that were harder and had far greater consequences than winning a wrestling match. And I think that’s why he keeps going back to the mat - getting up to tackle the next challenge when he's done. He knows that anything worth doing takes perseverance and hard work, and sometimes daring greatly can result in failure, but you’ll never know victory if you don’t try.

It’s amazing when we learn things from our kids. And that makes me just as, if not more proud than being the mother of a Conference champion.